He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize