I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
The Olympian is in my bed
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
