this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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