is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
