Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
