Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
