So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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