Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
my being single is dangerous.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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