Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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