we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
