I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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