Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
