his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
