Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
