dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
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