So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
