So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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