I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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