Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
