I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
