Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
