We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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