I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
