He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
