Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
