the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
