my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
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It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
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We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
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