Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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