It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
