Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
