dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
