dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
