she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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