We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
