So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
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