I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What happened to fro yo and sex?
A bitchslap is in order.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
