Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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