who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
