i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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