If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Also, beer. Big fan.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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