does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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