i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
