Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
