Having a random hookup so left but love u
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
