Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
