I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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