I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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