So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
