There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
