I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
