You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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