batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
