I just cut my nipple shaving
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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