I want to have your abortion
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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