shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think I sprained my soul last night
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
