I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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