Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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