the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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