omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
