Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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