worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
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Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
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Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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